We share a lot of similar statements across sports, teams, and coaches when talking about umpires and referees. It usually goes one of three ways.

• “We need to respect referees because we don’t get to play the games without them.”
• “Being a referee is a hard job, and it’s not something I’d want to do. Let’s let them do what they do best.”
• “We can agree to disagree on calls, but let’s set an example for those around us so that we don’t make the referee shortage even worse.”

For me, becoming a referee in college was about making ends meet. I worked at the local airport, did customer service on the side, and spent the weekends with youth sports with my knee wrapped and ice packs standing by between games to make everything work.

I always found that when I worked games growing up, it helped me to understand myself as a player better. That concept is what we’re attempting to build here as well. By staying active or becoming more involved, we see decision-making changes on the pitch from those that put on the shirt.

What Has Changed in My 4,000+ Games?

I started umpiring games when I was 13. In May, I get to celebrate 30 years of calling games in different sports.

During my first-ever game, I was on a three-person crew at first base. There was a bang-bang play where I heard the foot hit the bag before the ball snapped the glove. Called the runner safe. The dugout erupted, and the one comment stood out in particular: “Well – that ****ing kid missed that one.”

I had a sixth-grade basketball city championship game where I had to clear the gym because multiple fathers tried to pick a fight with me. That was 2001.

In 2002, I had a game where I called off a game-winning basket because the coach came onto the floor and the other referee restarted the play. Gave a technical foul, their player missed both free throws, and then they missed the final basket as time expired.

And the stories can keep going on. Like yesterday, when the visiting coach came onto the field and yelled, “You couldn’t give me two extra seconds to take the corner?” with his arms spread wide and trying to create a confrontation.

In my experience, sideline behavior hasn’t changed in three decades. The difference between then and now is that many people are tired of dealing with it – and more of what we’ve had to manage in the past is now getting caught on video, which means we see that what felt like an isolated issue is not that way at all.

Why North Whidbey SC Incorporates Referees into the Soccer Family

I got involved on the referee side of things post-COVID because I felt like my experiences and game management knowledge could help to stabilize things. After some internal miscommunication at the time, it was just easier to put on the shirt and pick up a whistle again to show our kids how to handle situations.

I’ve had the privilege of calling multiple games with both of my boys. We’ve received invitations to call games across the state for high-level tournaments. And getting to work with our players as colleagues in yellow has been remarkably fun, which I’m profusely grateful to our community for providing me with the opportunity to experience.

When teens receive positive support from the adults in their lives, they’re more likely to continue pursuing what they love. In the referee world, that sometimes means recognizing the bigger picture instead of getting lost in the emotion of disagreement over a call.

Working together, we’ve accomplished some incredible things.

• The mentorship structures we’ve implemented here are being duplicated across the state to the point where grant funding to support it for youth referees could be made available in the next 12-24 months.
• Our club consistently has one of the highest assignment fulfilment rates in our district, with some months at 100% at a time when referee shortages are driving people away.
• When our teams travel, we have become one of the first teams to receive requests to take games instead of one of the last because of the culture we’ve worked together to build.

During B09’s final Founders Cup tournament game, we had a mentor and a liaison present with a full crew. Two years ago, we’d have been lucky to get a CR at the same location. The quality of the game management from our teens is so high that they’ve been asked to write reports to submit to me, and then potentially our assignor, if they feel something out of the ordinary took place during one of their games as players.

And speaking of our assignor, Felix is active with us on social media. He travels from Montana frequently to take games and mentor our kids so that they receive multiple perspectives. We’ve had Mark come up from the south end to do the same.

This combination has led us to having one of the largest concentrations of active youth referees (per capita) in the state.

How You Can Help Us to Keep Growing in This Area

In my four years with North Whidbey SC, we’ve seen enrollment levels double in Deception FC. Our recreational program for Spring 2024 has about 40% more participants this season than our first coming out of the COVID restrictions.

For the competitive side, we’ve accomplished things this past season that haven’t been seen in a generation. What I love about all this is that from a board perspective, we feel like we’re only getting started on this journey.

As part of this growth journey, we’ve partnered with Darigold FIT to create more scholarship and funding opportunities. Our local sponsors have stepped up this year as well, despite the changes to what we offer, so that we can continue getting as many kids as possible onto the pitch while bringing the community closer together to support each other.

We can always use more referees within our ranks! The cost to become a referee is about $150 after taking the classes and purchasing the apparel. You’ll earn that back quickly enough, and those expenses are potentially tax-deductible. In return, you get to be around a game you love while seeing it from a different perspective.

You must be at least 13 years old to become a referee. We’d love to have more adults get involved in this aspect of our service as well, even if you only want to run lines or work the younger age groups in our recreational program.

Finally, if something does happen in a game where you feel like a call was missed or a situation could be improved, I ask that instead of confronting the referee, come speak with me or send me a note about the situation. That way, we can listen to each other while helping our teens become the best they can be when wearing yellow and carrying a whistle.

-Graeme